Death is a fact of life. This doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. Whether this is your first time coping with grief or you’ve been down this road before, you have a mess of emotions to deal with on top of trying to manage the rest of your life. It’s okay not to be okay for a while.

Here are a few ways to help you manage your feelings of grief as well as those of your children, because this might be brand new to them. After all, everyone needs some guidance on grief and loss.

Deal With the Legal Side

Unfortunately, the death of a loved one can be further complicated by the fact that you also have to arrange the funeral, memorial service, and potentially the will and estate of your loved one. In this case, it’s best to hire services to handle a lot of the nitty gritty for you.

Funerals can help you to process your grief as you can share stories and experiences of your loved one, as well as paying your respects. When talking to a funeral director, let them know of the wishes of your loved one as well as the family.

A lawyer can help you deal with the legal side of things. If your loved one had a will and life insurance or money put aside for the funeral, it can make things so much easier for you to deal with. Your lawyer will manage the hard things for you and allow the process to go as smoothly as possible.

The sooner this is dealt with, the easier it will be for you and your family.

However, the rest of your life and your emotional state don’t suddenly stop just so you can manage the funeral and will. So how can you cope with everything else?

School and Employers

Depending on your circumstances, you might have some warning for the death of your loved one. Death is never easy to cope with, whether it’s due to a long illness or a sudden accident. This is why it’s a good idea to check your employer’s bereavement policy in advance.

Most employers will have a bereavement policy in place and, depending on your manager, you might be able to get a fair amount of time off. This time off will be invaluable to help you to arrange the funeral and tackle all of the logistics of death.

But this time off is also important because it allows you to grieve. Most employers understand that happy employers are more productive employers. If you’re still reeling from grief, you might not be able to focus on your work, which can lead to issues depending on your industry.

Another thing to consider is your children. Most schools also have a bereavement policy in place, and it’s important to take advantage of them to get as much support for your child as possible. Your children may be able to have some time off for grief and to attend a funeral. It might also be appropriate for teachers and school counselors to be informed so they can look out for your child in class.

Explaining Death to a Child

One of the primary purposes of a funeral is to help people to process and grieve. It’s a way of saying goodbye so you can get a measure of closure on a death, whether it was expected or sudden. We always think we have more time until we don’t.

But the conversations don’t have to begin and end at the funeral itself. It’s important to try to help your child understand death as they get older. You don’t have to explain everything to them at once, but introduce them to the concept of death from a young age.

You can find books and other resources that mention death so children will have at least a basic understanding of what it is and what it means. This way, when they do have to confront grief for the first time, it isn’t a completely alien concept to them. As adults, death might seem natural, but children don’t have the same experiences or understanding that we do, so might not realize they’ll never see a loved one again if it isn’t explained to them.

Depending on your child’s age, it’s important to know whether they understand death or not. Be gentle but honest with them. Explain that their loved one isn’t in pain or upset with them, but that they are gone and won’t be coming back. But you can also explain that it’s okay to feel sad and that it’s a good idea to talk about the person they loved.

Grief Over Time

If you tell your children that they’re okay to grieve and talk about their loved one, you should also practice what you preach.

Talk to your family and friends about the person you lost and, if it’s appropriate, how you feel about it. Some people feel as though they should hide their emotions from their children, but this isn’t necessary. There’s a difference between using your children as mini-therapists and simply being human around them.

You don’t need to unload all of your emotions on your kids, but it’s okay and actually healthy for them to see that you’re grieving as well.

But grief doesn’t have to be crying all the time. Share stories about your loved one, especially things your children might not know about them. This also doesn’t have to just be in the immediate aftermath of their death.

Grief isn’t temporary. Some people carry it around for the rest of their lives. Some people even feel guilty as their sadness fades, so they try to hold onto it as though they’re holding onto the person who has passed away.

If you can’t cope, talk to a therapist to help you manage your grief. Otherwise, try to accept it and replace the sorrow with fond memories and lessons learned.

Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.