Supporting Your Child Through A Divorce
Though it might not be something we want to think about too regularly, divorces do happen and, often, children can feel the effects of them just as much or even more so than the parents. You want to make sure that your child feels supported and loved no matter what happens and to ensure that the divorce doesn’t drag them into it.
Divorce is challenging and complex for adults as well as children. Finding experienced family lawyers who can deal with the technicalities, so you can focus on your children is of utmost importance.
So, how do you go about supporting your child through this?
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Help them be more resilient
The truth is that the divorce is going to be emotionally tough. You shouldn’t try and encourage your child to hide or not have any feelings about the divorce. However, there are steps you can take to raise them to be more resilient, such as encouraging their independence and helping them develop a growth mindset by being more positive and supportive. This way, they will be more self-assured and less likely to feel like the divorce is due to them or that they are unloved by their parents as a result of it.
Inform them of what’s happening
Your child is going to know that something is up. Various aspects of their life are going to be changing all of a sudden. However, if they don’t know why, exactly, it can cause self-doubt and anxiety. As such, Babycenter has some guides on how you can talk to your kids about divorce. Different age groups will require different approaches, but it’s important to find the right words to communicate what they need to know. This also includes not talking about what they don’t need to know, such as infidelity or the details of the divorce itself.
Keep the divorce to the courts
While you shouldn’t keep your child in the dark, you also shouldn’t get them too involved in the divorce itself. To that end, you should make sure that you get in contact with a legal team like the Spodek Law Group as soon as possible and make sure that any communication regarding the divorce is done solely through your lawyers. Even if things are going smoothly enough for meditation rather than a divorce through the courts, you should keep the proceedings away from your children as best as possible.
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Talk early about co-parenting
If your spouse wants to continue to be a parent and is fit to be one (from an objective standpoint,) then you should talk to them about how you are going to raise your child together as soon as possible. Collaborative co-parenting is much healthier for the child than any means of combating each other over control. Of course, there are cases where this is not possible, but as if the partner is a neglectful or abusive parent, so this is not always a rule. It is, however, the best-case scenario if you think your partner can continue to be a parent.
All children are going to be affected by the break up of the family. However, with the tips above, you can try and mitigate as much as possible and, no matter what, ensure that they are loved and supported.
Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.